I woke up this morning and didn’t want to get up.
I know I’m not the only one who relates to that.
So, I hit snooze and dreamt dreams of what I’d like to live in my day.
the buzz came back and for some reason, I grabbed the kindle
by my bedside and began playing a game.
20 minutes later (I think) I won and shut it down.
I roll over… looking at the ceiling.
“Lord, what do you have for me today? I’m a little lost.”
Now, I know I’m loved, I know I am totally blessed.
But sometimes I’d like to just pick up the phone and give him a call sometime.
“Hey, I’m hurting. Can you help me in this. What do you want me to do about these people and that event.”
I know… prayer is the one and sometimes two way phone call.
yeah, preach it till people stop listening… I mean you already did.
Sorry, feeling the angst of loving a person who’s as bad a communicator as I am.
I already lost a marriage because of it.
(well, there are two sides to that story)
But, in all of life I know there are a few things I can count on.
I am in charge of my emotions/reactions. I control if I’m going to be angry, bitter, happy or respond in kind… or love.
I am not a victim in life. I create the life I desire. My thoughts have great power and bring in my reality.
And thus in some way, I have created my own angst.
And that angst has created the communication block with God.
It has also created the communication block with other relationships in my life.
So, where does that leave me.
Sleepy in bed most mornings without much
desire to get up anymore.
no, more than that…
I need to change my thinking
I need to get my emotions in line with the Great Communicator
Because if I put in faith that He won’t communicate with me…
then He is stopped from communicating with me.
If I put in faith that my marriage was bad
Then it’s power prevents it from getting better.
If I put in faith that my family or other relationships have
wounded me beyond repair…
Or that I can’t be successful or famous or influential or write a great book… etc
you get the point.
Faith is like creating laws of life for yourself.
And I’ve placed faith in agreements that I’ve made
which were reactions to hardships
and now I’m all messed up.
I will have to do it all myself.
I am better alone.
No one is truly interested in me.
There isn’t anything worthy of my time, attention or love.
God doesn’t talk to me.
Can you see how these agreements have brought so much angst to my life?
Maybe you can see some that brought angst to your own life.
Now, cutting out the angst comes with ridding ourselves
of the clutter of false agreements.
That shall be the promise of next blog post.
And I’ll let you know how I’m doing on all this too.
Blessings to you all.